Dinner and Doctors..

Not together!!

Saturday started out fine, we were home, not running anywhere. I felt like my normal self. We were getting things done around the house. Then it came time to get ready to go out to celebrate Ann's second baby. I have been wearing sweatshirts to cover the fact there are no boobs! Well, I wanted to dress a little nicer than that. I stood in my closet with tears in my eyes as I had nothing to wear! Haley was in the closet with me and said something about how I had a lot of clothes. I told her that all of those clothes are made for boobs! I couldn't wear any of them with out the fake ones in. And yet no one out side the girls and John have seen me in the fake ones, so wasn't ready for that either. But I had to wear them. Not sure if I'll ever get used to them. Hopefully I will get to a point that I can wear them and not think about them constantly. Warmer weather is coming up, sweatshirts will only make it so much longer. Dinner went fine, nobody said anything, that I heard anyway. One of my SILs was trying to think of something to say, lightheartedly. When she told me this yesterday, I told her I'm glad she couldn't think of anything, I wasn't ready to hear it that night. I was constantly worried about the things making themselves seen, but that didn't happen. Phew!

Afterwards the girls were staying with Aunt Jenny and Grandma. So I called John and met him at the bar. Walking in there was like walking into a wall of smoke! Gag!! I only had diet coke to drink, I just started feeling normal, I didn't want to wake up Sunday morning feeling sick! We stayed for a couple of hours. The next morning I was feeling a little off. I think it is from the smoke.

Sunday was spent at John's mom's. I took the girls shopping to use their gift cards. Aunt Jenny went with to help me keep my sanity! They actually did pretty good. After shopping we went back to Ma's for dinner. Chicken from Jewel. It was good! However, that night my stomach started cramping up. And yesterday morning I was not feeling well. I still feel a little off. I am hoping this isn't from chemo. I am thinking it is something I ate. Possibly something that wouldn't normally bother me, but did this time b/c of chemo (?). There were a couple other people with upset bellies, so it may have been what we ate.

Yesterday was my appointment with the cardiologist. I thought I had posted about my MUGA scan but I can't find it anywhere, so I guess I didn't! I had to have a Muga scan-which scans your heart. This is done for all of Dr. G's patients before they start chemo. I had this done on Feb. 6. That Friday I think it was, Dr. G's nurse Marion calls and says that the number was low on the scan and they want me to see the cardiologist. I freaked! I said "you mean there is something ELSE wrong with me?" She said that "no, the dr and card. talked it over and feel it is a testing error, but have to follow through". Well, I was allowed to start chemo, and the appt. was yesterday, so obviously not a big deal or they would have had me in there sooner! So I met her yesterday, I like her. She made me feel completely at ease. She is also a bc survivor. She was diagnosed 2 years ago this month, and had the same chemo regimen that I am on. She says the next drug, which I start April 23rd, was like chemo lite for her. That is good to hear. So even if I react the same way each time to this current drug, I only have 3 more of those. Hopefully the next one is the same for me as it was for her. She kept telling me also that there is a LONG life after bc. Which I do know. It just seems a long way off yet, looking at it from this side! She examined me, said she thought everything was fine. I have to go Friday for an ultra sound of my heart, just to be sure. Then I will need to do that about every 3 months bc of the chemo, just to check that it isn't messing with my heart. The ultra sound might be kind of neat--if I get to watch the screen. Hopefully they don't find anything, not sure I could take that!

Forgot to mention that the other day when I listed all the things I was signing up to let them do to me (poison me, etc,) that I was also signing up for chemopause. And with my age, possibly menopause. This isn't the take a while to get through it menopause. This is the slam into the wall with it type. It all happens at once. This is a possible side effect. Yahoo! Just another thing to look forward to-NOT!

Oh--and at the drs office yesterday, I forget that all these drs and nurses don't know everything about me. Seems like everyone should know by now. Well the nurse wanted to do a quick ekg, she told my to undo my bra and lie back on the table. I looked at her and said "no boobs=no bra!". She got a chuckle out of it. She said I could be wearing fake ones, I told her not for drs appts. I didn't want to explain my issue with them!! When the dr found out that I was 39-she said, "oh, a baby". She herself really didn't look that much older than me though.

I just found out that a friend of mine, Jenn, is also going to be doing the 3 day walk in Chicago. This is no small undertaking! A lot of training, and a lot of money to raise!Once I get all the web addresses, I will post them all here. I do have hers, but I want to post them all at once, so when I get Susie's and Jenny's I will put the links in the right column so they are always there, and easy to use.