Amazing....

The outpouring of love and support I have felt the last month or so is amazing!! I mean I have a great family (probably the best), and I have always known that they love me and are there for me. My friends have been letting me know that they are there also, and how much they care. It brings me to tears sometimes! This is a huge help in and of itself. I have read too often on the YSC boards of friends and family deserting someone during this time-can you believe it? To have such a support system as I do is a wonderful thing.

I have my MRI in the morning. I really do hope the roads are clear by then. It is sleeting out right now. The MRI is going to take about 2 hours I was told. Maybe I should stay up tonight so I am tired and sleep through it! I am going to bring my MP3 player, but I doubt they will let me use it. I believe I have to stay pretty still during this too. Hopefully this cold lets up so I am not sneezing or coughing!

Afterwards I am going to go Christmas shopping--weather providing. I would like to have things done by next weekend--or at least most of it. I managed to do that one year, and Christmas was so stress free and wonderful!!

I signed our team up for the Relay for Life in Frankfort again. It is getting to be time to think about that again. After all these years of being a team captain--it is personal this year! To visit out team page click here.

Cinemax has been showing Star Wars like crazy lately. I have to say it has been a great distraction. "The Empire Strikes Back" is on now. Maybe I will go veg for awhile on that.

What in the world!!!

I saw this link on the Young Survivors bulletin board and really am having a hard time believing that anyone is this selfish--see what you think!

http://www.theonion.com/content/node/41449

You may need to copy and paste as I don't remember offhand how to add a link--I really need to look that up as there are several I would like to add.

In other news...

The weekend went pretty well. The girls and John being home, plus holiday activities helped with that I believe. We got our Christmas tree Saturday--what a deal--and it is perfect!! The best tree we've ever had!! Will have to try and post pictures later. We obviously had a few get togethers with the Holidays. I wasn't in my most sociable mood--but did manage to enjoy myself. The girls stayed at Grandma W's on Saturday, so John and I got to go out for dinner and then to the bar for awhile--boy did I need that! Felt a little crappy in the middle of the night, but woke up okay.

I found out that it will take 1-2 weeks to get the results of the MRI I am scheduled for Friday--WHAT!! So surgery will be after the holidays. This actually takes a load off of my shoulders as I don't have to hurry up to get things done. Although I do still plan on being done early so that I can sit back and enjoy the holidays. Maybe we can still make it to Great Wolf Lodge this New Years.

I went to Goodwill today to buy button up shirts. Pretty much everything I own goes on over the head, something I won't be able to do after surgery for a little bit. Although it does sound like some of the women on the YSC list were up and about fairly quickly. I plan on using this month to work on my arms and shoulders. Thinking that if I make them stronger, it will be easier to bounce back. Time will tell.

John and I met with the PS (plastic surgeon) on Monday. We both liked and felt comfortable with him. Everyone we have dealt with through Riverside has been wonderful so far.

Tonight I have to go to a special board meeting. That doesn't bother me. What does is that the same people seem to never make it to these meetings! I mean if you take a position on the board, I think you should take it seriously!! I originally didn't know if I would be able to go, as I had an MRI to schedule and needed to keep things open for that. Luckily, my MRI is Friday, so I am able to make the meeting, otherwise poor Pat (the library director) was trying to find another day to get 4 board members there. I know i am ranting a bit--but this pisses me off!! I have missed one meeting--for vacation. I may have needed to miss this one-for medical reasons, and it would have been a problem b/c the people who always miss for whatever reason couldn't bother. OK--I don't really know the reason they couldn't make it this time. I did need to rant though!! Thanks for listening!!

I have a whopper of a cold that I hope will go away soon!! I have a lot to get done and don't want the down time!!

Happy Thanksgiving

I love Thanksgiving!! All that food! I am lucky in that I usually get two Thanksgivings. The first at my mom's and dad's the Sunday before. My mom works on Thanksgiving. The second at John's mom's and dad's. I need to make my broccoli casserole and cut up my roll ups so that we can get going. On the Young Survivors Bulletin board, someone started a thread on what we are thankful for. I thought I would copy my response here.

*let's see...I am thankful to my husband, who has been absolutely wonderful since this nightmare began a little over a month ago.
*For my daughter Haley, who always seems to write me a note or draw me a picture when I really need it! She melts my heart!
*For my daughter Jenna, who knows the power of laughter, and constantly cracks me up! She is my sunshine!!
*For my wonderful extended family, and my friends. I have so much love and support around me, it is overwhelming.
*For a job that allows for complete flexibility, and co-workers willing to step in and help if needed.
*For the wonderful Drs., Nurses, and staff that have had to put up with me lately (and will for a long time to come yet!!)
*For all the people who are keeping me in their thoughts, prayers, and lighting candles for me!
*I am also thankful for the ladies on that board--they have helped me so much with everything that is going on.
*And of course to be ALIVE!!

Enjoy your day, but don't forget to be thankful!!!!

Rotten Days....

Well, yesterday and today have not been the greatest of days. I am in a funk that I can't seem to shake. I am really hoping that it disappears tomorrow. I do know that this is something I will go through on off, but this time it is harder to shake.

The idea of a bilateral mastectomy, has me freaked out. Even with the immediate reconstruction. But at least it is winter time, so easier to cover up until I am comfortable. I am a very private person and don't like sharing my business with everyone (why do I have a blog then-right?), so the thought of losing my hair with chemo is freaking me out also. That is an outward sign that advertises to the world what is going on with me. John has been awesome in the support department. Trying to make me see the brighter side (and I am usually the optimist!).

It would be the same as if someone told me I can live--but to do so, we are going to take your breasts, we'll throw some new ones in though. This will still majorly play with your mind. The idea that something you have had for the past 25- 30 years (not sure when I sprouted!) and it was just a given that it was supposed to be with you forever, is going to be ripped away. Then we are going to pump drugs through you system to kill any rouge cells that may be out there-so you can live longer and never have to deal with this again. But...you could be miserable on and off for the next 6-8 months and you will go bald. Wow--too much to take in!!

I know in the scheme of things, a year of crap to live a full life, is a small price. However, being on this side of the year, it seems like forever!

I keep thinking of how I am supposed to go to Mexico this summer to celebrate my 40th birthday, well my boobs may look good in that swimsuit, but I will have to worry about getting a sunburn on my head!! I was supposed to look like "hot mamma!". You know, where no one could believe I'm 40! Well if I'm bald, I'm sure I will look at least that. John--again being sweet--said we would just go for my 41rst birthday. I have been looking forward to going for my 40th for so long, maybe we could go for both?!?!

Hopefully tomorrow is a better day. I plan on sleeping in, that will help some!

New to this...

I am totally new to blogging, and just a little sleepy right now. But I did set up this account, so I figured I should at least have one post on here!
I decided to start this blog to hopefully help others. I have recently been diagnosed with Breast Cancer at the age of 39. I hope that talking about my situation will help others that are in the same boat, so to speak. I do plan to talk about other things also, like my wonderful family.
It is off to bed for now... I will fill you in on my situation real soon!