A Sea of Pink??

NOT!! More like a sea of umbrellas!

That was what the Y-Me walk looked like today. Short of snowing, I don't think the weather could have gotten any worse. It poured the whole time, and was down right chilly. I was really disappointed-it was too hard to get into the experience.

For some reason I felt I needed to do this by myself. Not completely sure why, but I went with it. (I am glad I didn't bring the girls-they would have been miserable, making me more miserable.) Luckily I did bring layers of clothes and an umbrella. I did not think to bring extra shoes though, and am now in the process of drying them out. The wind gusts were upwards of 40 mph-which of course flipped my umbrella inside out a few times. I ended up soaked despite having it. I walked to and from the hotel, rather than have to park again. The way back it was raining harder, and windier. I will probably do this again next year, but NOT if it is raining.

On the plus side, the hotel is really nice. I am at the Hyatt downtown-I pricelined it again. $88-tax and all. And let me tell you, this room is HUGE! Again, I had felt like I needed to do this myself. I guess I was hoping something would happen that would bring me out of this funk that I am in. I can't even begin to explain it to you. The thoughts that I have had lately are just wrong (nothing suicidal, so don't worry). I am really hoping that when I see the dr on Tuesday and he says that the scans were all clear, that I will start to feel better. But I am seriously starting to doubt that. If it doesn't I may have to ask for a referral to speak to someone. I guess I just feel this doom on and off-no rhyme or reason as to why it rears up. I am sad alot--of course I don't show anyone that. I try to be the "happy" person they need to see. It is wearing on me though. I think this is part of the reason to be here myself this weekend.

I think also that I was hoping to get the chance to speak with some other survivors that are further out of treatment. With the weather so crappy, that wasn't really possible. Ah well, I guess this is something I have to work out for myself.

For all you moms out there--I hope you enjoy your day. Me---I am off to dry out the shoes some more!