HaHa!!!

These were part of a discussion on stay at home moms on the bulletin boards tonight. The first I had seen before, the second one of the ladies made up......

Housekeeping Monthly 13 May 1955

The good wife's guide·

*Have dinner ready. Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal ready, on time for his return. This is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking about him and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they come home and the prospect of a good meal (especially his favourite dish) is part of the warm welcome needed.
*Prepare yourself. Take 15 minutes to rest so you'll be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your make-up, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh-looking. He has just been with a lot of work-weary people.
*Be a little gay and a little more interesting for him. His boring day may need a lift and one of your duties is to provide it.
* Clear away the clutter. Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives.
* Gather up schoolbooks, toys, paper etc. and then run a dustcloth over the tables.
* Over the cooler months of the year you should prepare and light a fire for him to unwind by. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift too. After all, catering for his comfort will provide you with immense personal satisfaction.
* Prepare the children. Take a few minutes to wash the children's hands and faces (if they are small), comb their hair and, if necessary, change their clothes. They are little treasures and he would like to see them playing the part. Minimize all noise. At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of the washer, dryer or vacuum. Try to encourage the children to be quiet.
* Be happy to see him.
* Greet him with a warm smile and show sincerity in your desire to please him.
* Listen to him. You may have a dozen important things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first - remember his topics of conversation are more important than yours.
* Make the evening his. Never complain if he comes home late or goes out to dinner, or other places of entertainment without you. Instead, try to understand his world of strain and pressure and his very real need to be at home and relax.
* Your goal: Try to make sure your home is a place of peace, order and tranquillity where your husband can renew himself in body and spirit.
* Don't greet him with complaints and problems.
* Don't complain if he's late home for dinner or even if he stays out all night. Count this as minor compared to what he might have gone through that day.
* Make him comfortable. Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or have him lie down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him.
* Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soothing and pleasant voice.
* Don't ask him questions about his actions or question his judgement or integrity. Remember, he is the master of the house and as such will always exercise his will with fairness and truthfulness. You have no right to question him.
* A good wife always knows her place.

Ok, now for the new version!!

Young Women on Chemo Guide, 28 January, 2008

The good wife's guide

* Have dinner ready. Order Pizza from local pizza place and have them deliver. I've had a rough day of puking and crapping myself and I can't be bothered to feed anyone right now when I can't even stand the smell of food. If they don't like it there's always peanut butter and jelly!
* Prepare yourself. Take 15 minutes to clean the puke off the bathroom floor, wash the underwear you pee'd in from puking so hard. All three pairs. Brush what's left of your hair. Put some powder and lipstick on to try and put some color to your face, instead of the pasty white shell it has become.
* Try to refrain from telling him you felt like death today, that you tried to put on make up and ended up poking yourself in the eye with the mascara brush cause your eyes are so puffy and sensitive, or that yet more hair fell out in the shower. We don't want to bother him with our sob stories.
* Clear away the clutter. Put all of your pill bottles back into the bathroom cabinet. Rinse out your puke bowl. Clean up all the saltine crackers that have crumbled in the bed or on the couch, that you ate trying to calm your stomach which was about to hurl for the umpteenth time.
* Gather up schoolbooks, toys, paper etc. and then run a dustcloth over the tables. Tell the kids to wait at least an hour before they ask dad to help them with their math homework, as you couldn't because the chemo brain's left you to where you can't even focus through 5th grade math any longer.
* Over the cooler months of the year crank up the heater until everyone else has sweat pouring off of them. With no little to no hair, much of your body heat is escaping rapidly and you spend many days chilled to the bone. If he doesn't like it tell him where he can shove the nearest umbrella.
* Prepare the children. Tell the kids to go wash their hands and faces. Tell them to pick up their crap for the 5th time, to get off the computer or video game and to actually do some work around the house. Yell at them that they don't know what hard is and that they have it easy.
* Flip him off if he says one snide remark to you.
* Flip him off again and mumble curse words if he says sorry, but he's just had a bad day.
* Listen to him. If he's speaking softly it may be just the boring dull conversation you need to hear "blah blah blah" about his long day, stupid job, dumb people at work that just might lull you into a long needed nap.
* Make the evening his. That's right. Anything left that you didn't get to ie. dishes, cleaning, kids, litterbox, trash, etc...he can deal with it...I'm going to bed.
* Your goal: Try to make it through the next day without puking, crapping or peeing yourself, and ringing his neck.
* Don't greet him with complaints and problems. He'll see it all on his own soon enough.
* Don't complain if he's late home for dinner or even if he stays out all night. Just throw his crap out on the lawn. I'm sure he will try to tell you he's had a bad day. Throw a sheet and pillow out there for him too then, poor freaking baby.
* Make him comfortable. Let him have the bed if he's good. There's no getting comfortable laying down anyway after chemo so you'll be on the couch, dozing in and out of consciousness, between the puking and putting suppositories up your butt for the nauseousness, yet once again while he slumbers away without a care in the world in his big comfy bed. Idiot.
* Arrange his pillow that you drooled on when you were able to drift off for 15 minutes during the afternoon on the bed by turning it over. He'll never know.
* Don't ask him questions about anything. Not unless you want a long explanation of something that you won't even remember you asked and have to hear him ramble on and on about it.
* A good wife always knows when to tell her imbecile husband to sthu.


Translation of sthu=shut the hell up.
Too funny.

WoooHooo...

Ok, maybe it is just a little too early to celebrate. But I only have 4 more Herceptin infusions to go. April 15th is the last one!! Then I see about getting this damn port out. I have to admit I am a little apprehensive about this, as it means we are done with all treatment, we have done all we can do. Will it be enough?? Or somewhere down the road do I have to do this all over again?? I choose to believe it will be enough. I have to hold onto that. It will be really weird not having all the dr appts though. I know they will monitor me closely-that helps.

As for the friends I asked for the thoughts and prayers for the other day.....Courtney does not have cancer in her spinal fluid! Yeah. They don't have the final path report yet, but her dr is fairly certain. She does have bone mets though, that was found out before this latest scare. And Danica does have leukemia, but it is a new primary-this isn't the kind you get from chemo. She is now in the hospital in New York, her family taking care of her 3 kids, while she has chemo everyday for at least the next 21 days.

As for these nips--still not sure. I will have to ask her next week how much I can expect them to go down. Hopefully alot. Alot!! I do think one is just a tad higher than the other. They are shaped slightly different, so maybe that lends to that effect.

Saturday...

This past Saturday was the one year mark from my mastectomy. What a completely sucky day that was. I remember it like it was yesterday. I don't wish that on anyone. I have had a bit of a time not focusing on that. Kind of hard when I am still healing from a procedure to get my breasts back!

Kind of wondering why I got the nips done. I have to wear a bra now as it looks like I am cold all of the time! LOL. I am told they will shrink up considerably. This from other women that have had it done. I forgot to ask the dr how much they will shrink. They are not perfect-one seems skinnier than the other. Again-may not be a big deal when they shrink up. John thinks they are too high, I keep trying to explain that that is where perky nips are supposed to be. Curious to see how all of this turns out. I did ask her about possibly pulling them in closer (the foobs--not the nips). She said that can be done. She said to think about it as they look natural now. I explained that I don't really care if they look fake. Kind of wanted them to. I will think about it though--I mean-do I want another surgery? I figure I will go through the summer and see how I feel about them, then decide. I want them to look good in a tank top-without a bra. She did tell me I heal fast and that I make her job too easy. Hey, anything I can do to help! I was having a reaction to some of the tape she used. It was clear-a big patch, I was getting blisters and it was itching. I called her Wednesday about it (day before my appt) and she told me to take it off. Some skin came with it. She said the next day it looked like a type of burn, not an allergic reaction. She put the tape on while I was lying down, being up-the weight of the foobs was pulling on it, causing the burn.

Friday I met Trish for lunch. She has the same onc as me. We have emailed back and forth for awhile and finally managed to meet on Friday. I think we could have talked all day if we both didn't have other obligations. She is a lot like me, on several issues. She is funny and an extremely strong lady.

I have some online friends that need your thoughts and prayers right now. Danica really has no family supporting her. She has just found out that she has chemo induced leukemia. Doesn't that just beat all. She beats this f'ing disease-but the chemo she used to do so has caused her to have leukemia. She is understandably having a tough time with this. But she is a fighter and has 3 kids I know she will fight to stay around for. My friend Jen (one of our Chicago ladies, and a fellow Bon Jovi fan) found out in December that she has mets to the liver,lung, spleen and ovary. She is past the initial shock and is in fight mode now. And Courtney (another Chicago gal) is a mere 22. Originally dx'd at the age of 20, she has mets to her bones and they are checking her spinal fluid for possible cancer, as well she may have brain mets. This just completely sucks beyond words. In the picture from our lunch in Greek Town, Jen and Courtney are in the back row, both with blue on. Jen on the right side, Courtney the second in on the left.

All Done

With that step anyway. Of course it wasn't as bad as I had set in my mind.
She did give me a Valium and I listened to my mp3 player. I think we got home around 2:30. I am feeling kind of crappy all the sudden, so after my tea, I am off to bed.

Goodnight!

Today..

is the day. I feel like the kids when they get ready for school--"I don't want to go". I didn't sleep as good as I had hoped. The sleeping pill didn't knock me out. Oh well, maybe I can fall asleep on the table.

Tomorrow..

I should be looking forward to this, but I am soo not. I don't want to go. I have to have my body mutilated yet again-to get it back to "normal". Again, there is just something wrong with this.

I drank some chamomile tea, took a hot bath, and once I get done with this, I am going to take a sleeping pill, then read til it knocks me out. I thought about staying up all night so I would fall asleep tomorrow, but I am afraid that if I am tired it will make the freak out factor worse. Actually, I know it will. So I will get a good night sleep and go from there.

We had our Elvis's b-day party at Hon's last night. It was fun. Lots of food that isn't good for you, but I guess if you do that once in awhile it isn't so bad.

Off to sleepy land I go (I hope!).

Monday..Monday..

Well Monday is the day. I will again have nipples. Granted flesh colored ones, for now. Gross looking ones until they heal, I have already been warned about that. Again, insane that I should even have to worry about this, but there it is. I have to be there at 10 am, procedure at 11. This is just a local, so no fasting or anything. It is scheduled to take about an hour and a half. I was actually told I could drive myself. John is going to go with though. I did ask if I can take my Ativan that morning so I wouldn't be freaking out. The doctor said no, that she would make sure I felt comfortable. Easy for her to say. I am honestly not sure how I am going to be able to lay there for an hour and a half, knowing what they are doing to me. There will be a sheet so I can't see, but I will be able to feel some tugging etc. I know when I had the girls I felt the tugging and pulling. I am sure this will be the same-except that didn't take as long. The surgery center did say that I could bring my MP3 player, that may help keep my mind off of things, maybe. I plan on bringing that Ativan with me, just in case. If she doesn't give me some happy juice and I'm starting to freak out-I will just take some.

Sick of it...

I am in a bit of a funk. It has been around for awhile. I keep trying to fight it, but apparently it isn't going away. Maybe since the girls are back at school and John at work, I should let these feelings take over for a bit (and just a bit) and deal with them. I don't want to. I don't want to think about all that has happened in the last year. I don't want to think about what my body and mind have been put through in the last year. Dealing with the diagnosis, surgeries, set backs (ie not being able to do immediate reconstruction), chemo, hair loss, stomach issues, not feeling like myself, numbness, dealing with the new me, trouble sleeping, fatigue, chemopause, doctor appointments, memory not working like it should, the list goes on. I refuse to let this damn cancer rule the rest of my life. I refuse to wait around thinking it will come back. I chose to believe it will not come back. If it does, I will deal with that then. This has been fairly easy to do most of the time. But lately I have been hearing of more and more ladies with recurrence. Seems to be quite few lately. I know there are treatments and people live a long time with mets. I can't imagine having to go through chemo again (or 3rd or 4th time). Losing hair again. Having that pit in the bottom of my stomach again. All those doctor appointments. Again, I chose to believe that I won't have to deal with this anymore. I am still dealing with the aftereffects of this time. I find myself thinking of this crap at the weirdest times. I was feeding the cats, and thinking about having lost my breasts. Tell me that makes sense. I am pissed that this had to happen. I'm not saying it shouldn't have happened to me, I'm not any better than anyone else. But why does it happen to anyone? I'm not expecting an answer to that question by the way. Monday I have to go have a procedure to get my nipples. Freaking out about this too. I have to lay there awake while the skin on my chest gets cut (again) and twisted into my new nipple. Who would have ever thought that I would be worried about getting new nipples? That is just not a normal thing to worry about. My first tattoo is going to be when I get my aureoles tattooed on. Unless I run out and get one before that gets done. This all just too weird, and so wrong.

I apologize for this rant. I don't blame you if you skipped this post. Not sure if it even made sense. This post is for me and anyone else going through this crap that may happen onto this blog, so they know they are not alone.

Here's to the end of 2007

Can't say that I am that sad to see it go. It wasn't all bad, not by a long shot, but way too much I would rather forget. This year I work on getting me back. Or the new version of me at least. I have two resolutions this year;

1--be healthier. This embodies so much. Eating better, exercising, taking care of me, etc., but I have rolled it all into one.

2--Stay in touch (and reestablish contact) with everyone better. I am going to try to answer those emails quicker (you know how it goes-you save it to answer later and it gets lost in the shuffle, never answered), call friends I haven't talked to in awhile. Spend time with friends.

New Year's Eve, the girls slept over at a friends house, which left John and I free. We went to Merichka's with his family (YUM!!), then over to (SIL) Ann's. We weren't planning on staying until midnight b/c we didn't want to be on the road with the idiots. We ended up not leaving her house until 11:50 (why we didn't just stay the other 10 minutes--I don't know). It took us an hour to get home. It was snowing and blowing. We didn't see another car until we were almost home, and didn't see any police cars. I am thinking someone would have to have been blatantly drunk before they would get pulled over anyway. I mean who would want to be out in that even to write a ticket!

Sunday (the 30th) I went up to Greek Town to meet with some of the ladies from the YSC Bulletin Board. We had a real nice time. We need to do that more often. Once a month would be good. There were 8 of us there. This isn't the best pic--we had three people taking pictures for us-that is why we are all looking all over.

Today was a Herceptin day. In talking with some of the other gals, I'm not totally sure anymore that it is the Benadryl making me tired. I don't think it helps, but some get tired from the Herceptin and don't take the benadryl beforehand. On days I have treatments, I don't really plan anything. That way I can relax, nap if need be. Well of course today the girls were still on Christmas vacation. So when I gave myself that hour to fall asleep, they had to wake me up. And the real kicker is, they didn't seem to notice I was around until I dozed off. Haley had to ask where a certain nail polish was, then a few minutes later show me her nails. Jenna woke me up to tell me something, then wouldn't tell me. And this is with John on the computer in the same room. That was all in a half hour, so I gave up. They did let me take a bath in peace when I first got home. That was nice.

Here's to a great 2008!