Two More Gone.....

Two more of my lovely YSC friends have passed away in the last couple of weeks. Something REALLY needs to be done about this. Two young children are now without their moms. And the world is without the wit and smiley faces of these two Wonderful women.

Lola passed away this past Sunday July 20th. She was a huge presence on the boards, and always good for a laugh. Living in Scotland, I don't know that anyone had met her in person yet. One lady is in Europe now on vacation and had planned on meeting up with Lola this week. Was just talking to her about it the week before she died. It was that sudden.

Lola was diagnosed just 2 months before me. She then had a recurrence the following year. Her daughters birthday was days after she passed. Not exactly sure how old Robyn is, but from the pic (dated 2005) I am guessing around 5. I am not sure how old Lola was. I am guessing close to my age, but could be completely off.

Lola our view from across the pond

Lola's beautiful daughter

Jayme was a friend from Wisconsin. She had hoped several times to make it to one of our Chicago gatherings, but unfortunately wasn't able to make it. I had mentioned at one time that I would love to get some kind of girls weekend together and would let her know about it--but we were never able to get that together either. That I regret. Jayme's will was amazing. She had a great outlook, even with all that she had been through.

She also left a child within days of his birthday. Below are my favorite pics of Jayme, the first with her laying her head on Kody's lap is priceless. The second pic is what I think of when I think of her.

I was not able to go up for Jayme's funeral service. I wish I could have. I had a Library Finance Committee meeting that I had to be at. This does bother me that I wasn't able to be there. She was just 35 years old.

Jayme Gonzalez-getting a hug from her son

One of my favorite pictures of Jayme

Both ladies will be missed. Something has got to be done. Children need to quit losing there mommies.

Randy Pausch

Randy Pausch passed away this moring due to complications from Pancreatic Cancer. This man was an inspiration to millions. His Last Lecture on youtube and in book form are something that everyone should see/read. Below is the article from the Carnegie Mellon College....

Randy Pausch Inspired Millions
Randy Pausch, the professor at Carnegie Mellon University who inspired countless students in the classroom and others worldwide through his highly acclaimed last lecture, has died of complications from pancreatic cancer. He was 47.
Also a Carnegie Mellon alumnus, Pausch co-founded the Entertainment Technology Center and led researchers who created Alice, a revolutionary way to teach computer programming. He was widely respected in academic circles for a unique interdisciplinary approach, bringing together artists, dramatists and designers to break new ground by working in collaboration with computer scientists.
Outside the classroom, he gained public fame for delivering what would come to be known as "The Last Lecture." On Sept. 18, 2007, only a month after doctors told him that he had three-to-six months to live following a recurrence of pancreatic cancer, he presented a lecture called "Really Achieving Your Childhood Dreams" to a packed auditorium at Carnegie Mellon.The moving and often humorous talk recounted his efforts to achieve such childhood dreams as becoming a professional football player, experiencing zero gravity and developing Disney World attractions. In the process, he shared his insights on finding the good in other people, working hard to overcome obstacles and living generously."If you lead your life the right way, the karma will take care of itself," Pausch said. "The dreams will come to you."The video appeared on countless websites and has been viewed by millions. Appearances on the Oprah Winfrey Show, ABC's Good Morning America and the CBS Evening News followed.A book version, "The Last Lecture" co-written by Jeff Zaslow of the Wall Street Journal (and a fellow Carnegie Mellon alumnus), became a best-seller upon its release this spring."Randy had an enormous and lasting impact on Carnegie Mellon," said Carnegie Mellon President Jared L. Cohon. "A brilliant researcher and gifted teacher, he was a key member of our Human-Computer Interaction Institute and co-founder of the Entertainment Technology Center. His love of teaching, his sense of fun and his brilliance came together in the Alice project, which teaches students computer programming while enabling them to do something fun — making animated movies and games. Carnegie Mellon — and the world — are better places for having had Randy Pausch in them."Pausch was also a pioneer in the development of virtual reality, including creating the popular Building Virtual Worlds class.A memorial service at Carnegie Mellon University in Pittsburgh is being planned; details will be announced at a later date.He is survived by his wife, Jai, and three children: Chloe, Dylan and Logan. The family requests that donations on his behalf be directed to the Pancreatic Cancer Action Network, 2141 Rosecrans Ave., Suite 7000, El Segundo, CA 90245, or to Carnegie Mellon's Randy Pausch Memorial Fund, which the university will use primarily to support continued work on the Alice project.
For more information on Randy's life and legacy, read In Memoriam: Randy Pausch, Innovative Computer Scientist at Carnegie Mellon, Launched Education Initiatives, Gained Worldwide Acclaim for Last Lecture.

Unfortunately the links don't come through when you copy and paste. So if you would like to see the whole article with clickable links, click here..

RIP Mr. Pausch

I'm Fine Folks!!

Apparently my posts, and/or lack of, are freaking a few people out. I assure you that I am FINE!!! I am allowed to have off days. And I will have them. When I do, I post about them here-occasionally-so that others going through this realize that they are not the first to go through this.

I am normally optimistic. Anyone who knows me, knows this. I copied that article so that on those days that I am not feeling upbeat I won't have people telling me how I have to be happy because it is healthy for me. It is not healthy for me, or anyone, to keep everything they are feeling inside. I am not one to share those negative feelings verbally-so, I write them here. It is a way to get it out for me.

Please, read the disclaimer at the top of this page!!!

On another note, I have been keeping pretty busy this summer and have not had a lot of time to post on here. I will get back to posting when things slow down a little. (probably in the fall). And when I do, I will be starting to gear this more towards a page about my family and less about cancer.

Oh--one more note. I lost another friend this past Friday to this crap. 35 years old. Her son turns 5 tomorrow. More optimistic and full of life than anyone I have ever met. So yeah, that shit hits hard. On several levels. I will post more about Jayme in a few days. When hopefully I won't well up with tears, and will be able to see what the hell I am writing.

Our Relay for Life is this Friday. If you haven't made a donation, please do. The links are on the left. You can donate under my name, John, or the girls. The most important thing is that you donate. Any amount you feel comfortable with can help a great deal.

Nuff said. I'm off to bed.

Funk....

I am back in a funk. There are several reasons I can think of for this, none of which do I want to discuss right now.
What I will say is that I will continue to post on here, although you will see less and less cancer talk, and it will begin just being more about me and my family. I'm sure occasionally something having to do with cancer will pop up. I am trying to move on and not think about it as much.
The funk is cancer related. I took an Ativan last night to slow my mind down so I could sleep. I think tonight I will take a sleeping pill. If I can get a few good nights of sleep, that may help the funk.

Thanks for always being there, and for listening!!

Good to Know..

I know I normally can look at the bright side of things, this is good to know for those days when the bright side seems to be out of reach.

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http://www.abc.net.au/pm/content/2008/s2262841.htm
Positive thinking does not help fight cancer: study PRINT FRIENDLY EMAIL STORY PM - Monday, 2 June , 2008 18:14:00Reporter: Barbara Miller
MARK COLVIN: We journalists too often deploy the cliche about people "battling" cancer, but now Australian researchers have found that there's actually nothing much a patient's attitude can do to fight the disease.Cancer specialists agree that it's a finding which is both reassuring and unsettling.They've concluded that a breast cancer patient's attitude to the illness has no influence whatsoever on their chance of survival. The scientists say the work proves that patients should stop blaming themselves if their cancer returns.But some patients aren't keen to let go of their belief in the power of positive thinking.This report from Barbara Miller.
BARBARA MILLER: It's an idea which has been gaining ground for some time. Smaller studies have already suggested that positive thinking does not boost a cancer patient's chance of survival.Those findings have now been confirmed with a large long-term study involving the assessment of more than 700 breast cancer patients over a period of eight years.The study's lead author Associate Professor Kelly-Anne Phillips from the Peter MacCallum Cancer Centre in Melbourne has just presented the findings at a major cancer conference in Chicago. She says for some patients it's good news.
KELLY-ANNE PHILLIPS: I think it’s certainly good news for those women that I see whose cancer has unfortunately returned and who come to me and are really blaming themselves for not having thought positively enough or having been depressed or anxious after their cancer diagnosis.And they come along thinking that is the main reason their cancer has recurred. And now I’m able to tell those women, look that’s just not true.
BARBARA MILLER: Kelly-Anne Philipps, who's also a Colebatch Clinical Research Fellow at the Cancer Council of Victoria, says the findings don't need to take away a patient's sense of having control over their illness.
KELLY-ANNE PHILLIPS: The things that are important are, you know, having the right treatment and taking the appropriate treatment and also there are other emerging factors that are important in survival after breast cancer, so things like regular exercise for example, is something that women do have control over and it seems to be emerging as an important prognostic factor, maintaining normal body weight for example, is clearly a very important prognostic factor after breast cancer.So I think it means that women can focus on the things that we really do know make a difference.
BARBARA MILLER: Dr Jane Turner, a spokesperson for the Cancer Council, has welcomed the research.
JANE TURNER: I’m absolutely delighted because a number of people believe that stress causes cancer and women are commonly told to be positive. However, that denies them the chance to talk about the things that are really concerning them, it denies them the chance to necessarily seek the support they might need, and it also denies them a chance to seek treatment for anxiety and depression, which are very common.Some people are naturally optimistic, some people are worriers. You can’t turn yourself into something you’re not, nor should you feel burdened that you have to.
BARBARA MILLER: Would you expect that these findings would also apply to other forms of cancer?
JANE TURNER: I would expect so. There has been some research done in Melbourne, at Peter MacCallum Hospital, looking at lung cancer and they’ve found similar results.
BARBARA MILLER: But some cancer patients are sceptical about the findings.Lizzie Wheeler from New South Wales was diagnosed two years ago with ovarian cancer.
LIZZIE WHEELER: I don’t think I could have made it this far if I didn’t have a positive outlook and everybody around me was positive. I’ve had times where things have been really rough and I’ve been really ill, but I’ve managed to bounce back up again.
BARBARA MILLER: What do you make then of this study that finds that the attitude that people have, in this particular case, to do with breast cancer had no impact on their chance of survival?
LIZZIE WHEELER: I’m not sure where they’re coming from with that. I don’t know. I can’t believe that your attitude doesn’t have an outcome that helps with you to keep going.
BARBARA MILLER: John Stubbs is the executive officer with the advocacy group, Cancer Voices Australia. He says the research findings will help some patients.
JOHN STUBBS: Personally, I feel that my positive attitude was of great benefit to me, not only that, I had a great clinician and I had great family support. So, I think I got the whole package.It’s probably fair to say that there would be a number … or there would be many cancer patients who feel the same, or there may be an equal number of patients who don’t want to be trapped – I think we call it, trapped in the prism of the positive, that they’ve been positive throughout their cancer and its returned and all of a sudden they’re made to feel guilty about that.So, I think there will be some good things that’ll come out of this report.
BARBARA MILLER: That report prepared by Barbara Miller.
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http://www.webmd.com/cancer/news/20071022/...snt-whip-cancer
Positive Attitude Doesn't Whip Cancer?
Patients' Positive Thinking Has No Impact on Cancer Survival, Study ShowsBy Salynn Boyles

WebMD Health NewsReviewed by Louise Chang, MDOct. 22, 2007 -- Having a positive attitude may help cancer patients deal with their disease, but it doesn't directly affect survival, according to one of the largest and most rigorously designed investigations ever to examine the issue.
The study included more than 1,000 people treated for head and neck cancer; the emotional state of patients was found to have no influence on survival.The findings add to the growing evidence showing no scientific basis for the popular notion that an upbeat attitude is critical for "beating" cancer, says University of Pennsylvania School of Medicine behavioral scientist James C. Coyne, PhD, who led the study team."I wish it were true that cancer survival was influenced by the patient's emotional state," he tells WebMD. "But given that it is not, I think we should stop blaming the patient."'The Tyranny of Positive Thinking' Jimmie Holland, MD, agrees. The Memorial Sloan-Kettering Cancer Center psychiatrist is a longtime critic of the "mind over cancer" proponents who tell patients they must stay positive to survive their disease.In her book The Human Side of Cancer, Living with Hope, Coping with Uncertainty, Holland coined the term "the tyranny of positive thinking" to describe the belief."The idea that we can control illness and death with our minds appeals to our deepest yearnings, but it just isn't so," she tells WebMD. "It is so sad that cancer patients are made to believe that if they aren't doing well it is somehow their own fault because they aren't positive enough."Holland does acknowledge the benefits of staying positive during cancer treatment, and she is an advocate of techniques like relaxation, meditation, support groups, and prayer to help patients cope with their disease.But she says there is no credible evidence that positive thinking alone directly influences tumor growth."People really want to believe this, so even very good studies like this one probably won't change public thinking," she says. "But the scientific community is getting the message."Attitude and Cancer SurvivalThe newly published study included 1,093 patients with head and neck cancer who completed quality-of-life questionnaires during their treatment.Coyne says the study group was limited to patients with a single cancer who had similar treatments to better assess the impact of state of mind on survival.A total of 646 patients died during the study follow-up. Even after acounting for other variables that could affect survival, a patient's emotional state was found to have no bearing on whether or not he or she lived or died.The study appears in the Dec. 1 issue of the American Cancer Society (ACS) journal Cancer.In a separate review of other studies published earlier this year, Coyne, University of Pennsylvania colleague Steven Palmer, PhD, and ACS researcher Michael Stefanek, PhD, found insufficient evidence that participation in psychotherapy or cancer support groups plays a role in survival.In that report, the researchers concluded that the hope that emotional state is a driving factor in cancer outcomes "appears to have been misplaced.""If cancer patients want psychotherapy or to be in a support group, they should be given the opportunity to do so," they wrote in the journal Psychological Bulletin. "There can be lots of emotional and social benefits. But [patients] should not seek such experiences solely on the expectation that they are extending their lives."
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