Still....

This is getting crazy. I still don't feel right. The achiness is there, although better than it was. The constant acid reflux is driving me nuts. The fingertip numbness, which at least comes and goes. The god awful taste in my mouth that I can't get rid of. The port that once again feels like it wants to pop out of my chest! And last night (in the middle of the night) for some reason my belly was upset---I spent 2 hours sitting in the bathroom, afraid to leave it. I have a week until I do this all over again, for the last time at least. No Nuelasta shot next time, so I will have to be more careful. Another reason I don't know if I'll be staying at the walk. So, about the time I am feeling more normal from the chemo, I will be down from surgery. We are looking at the second week in July before I start feeling semi normal again. That seems so far out. I know it really isn't. But it sure seems that way. That is really bothering me lately. I am so sick of all of this crap. We had to run to Home Depot last night, and it wore me out! I was looking for a place to sit down. I was sore and tired! How sad is that? And today we have a picnic. I am getting to hate the fake hair and fake boobs. Don't feel like wearing them, but don't want to go without. I cannot wait to give that stuff up!! And I will probably be seeing some people I haven't seen in awhile. I SO do not want to talk about this crap at all today. I guess I will just have to say that. I know they are concerned, but I do not want to spend my day being cancer girl.