New Plastic Surgeon

John and I went to meet the new Plastic Surgeon tonight. John wasn't super impressed, but I liked her. I didn't get the "warm and fuzzy" feeling I got when I met Dr.B--but I really don't expect that--it's a bonus! John admitted that might be what he was looking for.

Walking into her office, I thought I was going for a massage!! Very feng shui and new age! Low lighting, comfy seats, candles, incense. Very nice! I noticed that she also seems to schedule appointments so that clients don't really bump into each other. Not a big deal to me--although I am sure there are those who appreciate it.

She had a lot of questions, which I expected. She also complimented me!! She asked how I knew so much! Said that a lot of people come in and she explains everything to them. She wasn't having to explain to me. I told her I have done a lot of research online, as well as reading and talking to ladies that have been through this.

During her exam, I had to strip down, not just top half, and wear PAPER panties!! I have never seen such a thing! And they are definitely not flattering! I did have a nice big spa quality robe--that wasn't paper!

She did say she thought we should wait until after chemo to even start reconstruction (WHAT!?!?!). So NOT what I wanted to hear. John said he agrees with her. I understand what she is saying on an intellectual level, but don't like it. We are probably talking at least 6 months out (although I'll know more after surgery next Friday). So no boobs for summer. Possibly expanders though--so at least there will be something there. This did upset me a bit though. It was all I could do not to tear up in her office. In my eyes this was another set back. Every time I think I have a handle on things, they get changed!

We go back to her on Feb. 2. She is going to check the incisions, and will have pics for us to view.

The ride home was a nightmare, well maybe not that bad. But it sucked!! I had a minor meltdown. It had been coming for awhile, the past few days I have been tearing up thinking about all this crap. Once we got in the car I lost it. John was trying to be supportive,actually he WAS being supportive, I just didn't want to hear it. Ended up getting mad at him, although I didn't tell him, cause I knew deep down he was trying to help. We had started talking about chemo. I mentioned that if the first one was 4 weeks out from surgery, that put it right before the girls' birthday and I didn't want that. I didn't want to be sick for that. He proceeded to tell me that I didn't know I would get sick. That I read all this stuff and convince myself that is what will be. Well, no, I prepare myself for the worst, and if it is better than that--GREAT! He told me that it is the same with pain, if you tell yourself it doesn't hurt-it doesn't. You forget about it. I'm thinking WHAT!! Who's talking here? This is the guy you lays around on the couch moaning when he is sick!!! Now in all fairness to him, he does not get sick that often. And I DO know that he was trying to be supportive for me. I just didn't want to hear it!! I wanted to whine and moan, and have my melt down, and be listened to!

Then to top off the ride home, traffic was insane!! John and I had met at The Burger King on Weber. Well coming back, they had the overpass closed with an accident! So with the detour, it took us an hour just to get from the drs office (10 miles away) to John's truck! Then we had to detour ourselves to get home and not get stuck in more traffic! So 2 hours after the appointment ended, I got to Michelle's house. With a migraine to boot!

Mom and Michelle had ordered pizza. I had let John know this, he chose to go home and take a shower instead of stopping to get something to eat. After the girls and I got back home at about 8--he told me he was hungry!!! I asked why he didn't eat, he asked what he would eat. I told him that is why I told him about the pizza!! I was completely drained by this point!! When he said he was hungry--I almost lost it!! I was soo pissed!! The man can not cook, but he could have run through McDonalds or something!!!

Long, Long night!!