Wednesday, October 31, 2007


Halloween @ Bopmyspace.com


Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

Tuesday, October 30, 2007

Are You Kidding Me????

The new movie "The Golden Compass" is coming out soon. I think it looks pretty good, and I look forward to taking the girls to see it. Well, today I received the following email...

Friends,

You may already know about this, but I just learned about a kids movie coming out in December starring Nicole Kidman. It's called The Golden Compass, and while it will be a watered down version, it is based on a series of children's books about killing God (It is the anti-Narnia). Please follow this link, and then pass it on. From what I understand, the hope is to get alot of kids to see the movie - which won't seem too bad - and then get the parents to buy the books for their kids for Christmas. The quotes from the author sum it all up. I'm going to tell everyone about this movie. I hope it totally bombs because we were all paying attention!
Read the article on snopes below


Urban Legends Reference Pages: The Golden Compass

Go ahead and click on the link!! You won't believe it. I mean, come on, do these people seriously have nothing else to do?? It is a movie for Christ's sake!! It is make believe, imaginary!! Get a life!! I really don't care what the author's beliefs are as long as he (or she) is a good writer. Now if he was using the money from the sale of his books to abuse children or something--then I would boycott. But come on!! Not all of my "beliefs" fall within what most people consider normal. Nothing wrong with that. Just means we are all not clones or robots. Sheesh!! This has actually just piqued my interest in the books. I will have to read them now. And honestly, I must be a little slow on the uptake, but I didn't realize Narnia was about God, I mean if this movie is the "anti-Narnia". I saw the movie and read the book and didn't catch that! I hope this movie is a HUGE success just to piss these yahoos off!

On another note, had my ps appt. yesterday. John went with me. She took the stitches out. That hurt a little. Only really on the left side for some reason. Same as last time. She said everything looks good, and the good news is I can take a bath again!! YEAH!! We had a bit of a time finding her new office--not really that hard to find once you know where it is, but a little tricky beforehand. At least one of the rooms is set up as a surgery room also. I am curious as to what kind of surgery she can do there. I will have to ask her when I go back in a month. She said the tape is the best thing to keep on the incision to help keep the scarring down. Huh, never would have thought of that. I will try it though!

Today was my appt with my oncologist. He didn't really have a lot to say. I need to go get my yearly pap done. Couldn't do it when it was time b/c chemo does weird things to the test I guess. I also need to talk to him (my ob/gyn) about having my ovaries removed. History of ovarian cancer in the family and higher risk b/c of the breast cancer--and with it being so hard to detect, I would just as soon dodge that bullet. Also, I am already going through menopause now, I would like to get the ovaries yanked before my period comes back and I start back at square one with this menopause crap!

Herceptin today too. I was saying something to the nurse about I don't know how I would function if I had to take the Benadryl all the time, it makes me so tired. She said I would have to take it at night. I didn't even think to ask if I could take it the night before for this. I had errands to run today to get ready for our neighborhood bon fire after Trick or Treating and was out of it!! All day actually!

My YSC email newsletter had this cute bag from Urban Outfitters. It is $15, and all proceeds go to the YSC. Click here to see it.

I am off to bed. I need to sleep. I will have to post a pic of John and I dressed up for Halloween soon. Don't know if I'll get a chance tomorrow. More errands, Fun Fair at the girls' school, then of course Trick or Treating. But I will do it soon.

Friday, October 26, 2007

Not Too Bad...

That was my day yesterday. I kept myself busy and didn't dwell on anything--thankfully. John and I took the dog to the vet yesterday morning--his skin is finally looking better. Then we came home and watched Alpha Dog. It was good. I don't always like the gang movies, but this was good. I also am not a fan of Justin Timberlake's music, but I like him. And he was good in this.

In the afternoon I went to Joliet to get my nails done. I wanted them done for Halloween. I had fake ones put on (which I am still getting used to). I think they look pretty cool.

Next I ran to Target. I picked up the Josh Groban Christmas CD. I know, I know, it is too early for Christmas music, but I was afraid by the time it was time for it, I wouldn't be able to find it. I did listen to it on the way home. I LOVE Josh Groban, and I LOVE Christmas music, so what a great combo! I also found jeans on clearance for the girls. They are needing jeans now that it is getting colder. I was hoping that growth spurt would hit before they needed them, but oh well. Hopefully it will hold off now until Christmas. Usually when I am lucky enough to find one pair of jeans in their size on the clearance rack--I either never can find another one, or they are ugly. I found 2 pairs!! Yeah!! And they actually like them.

Next I was off to Spirit Halloween to get my costume. Well, this was the only bit of bad luck I had. They didn't have the costume I wanted anymore. Not even any of the other ones I had thought about. Well, that is what I get for waiting so long to decide. Next time I will get one early.

My last stop was to Barnes and Noble to get some Starbucks. I decided to get one to bring home for the girls to split. On the way out, a young man held the door open for me saying "there you go miss". Then telling me "enjoy your day" after I thanked him. Not something you run into every day!

Not an overly exciting day, but a nice day. A day not spent dwelling on the significance of the date.

I did think of something else I have learned this year--that is to ask for help. This does not mean I am weak, it means I am human. And family and friends are more than willing to help out.

I should explain-I copied my entry yesterday from the bulletin board. That is why the reference to my "stats". My signature on there has all the information about diagnosis etc. Also, the reference to how "odd" it was that I was sitting in Target's parking lot...there was someone who came on the boards talking about how everyone on there needs to quit whining. She claims to have left her mastectomy and went to Target immediately after. So this is a reference used quite often on there.

I have put a link in the right column to the article. To make it a little easier to find.

Took the girls shopping for jeans today. Kohls was having an awesome sale! I also needed to look for not one, but two costumes now. John doesn't have to work tomorrow night, so he will be going with me to Matt and Melissa's. We won't match, but I think we are going to look good!

This has been a bad week for the bulletin board. We lost 2 ladies. One was only 35, an oncologist in Chicago. The other lady didn't post as much, I didn't really know her. We have also had 4 ladies have the beast come back. One lady is 24--this is the 3rd time dealing with this in 2 years.

But on the other hand.....one lady had her baby yesterday!!! Proof that there is life after breast cancer. This is her first baby---a girl. We are still waiting to hear the name!

Enjoy your weekend!

Thursday, October 25, 2007

One Year Ago...

I was dx'd.

In a way it is hard to believe it was only a year ago. On the other hand it seems almost like a lifetime ago. I kind of wish I hadn't remembered this until tonight. Now I am sure it will be on my mind all day.

Oct. 13--(Friday)--found lump

Oct 25--dx'd right side.

Nov 14--dx'd left side.

I know it is all there in my stats, I just wanted to write it again for some reason. One year ago, I was trying to occupy my mind, I was out shopping for costumes for the girls. I was in Target's (how odd is that!)parking lot when I got the call from the nurse saying that the dr wanted to see me asap. I fell apart. I don't know how I drove to the dr office--it was 45 minutes away. John offered to come home early to go with me. I told him no. Afterwards I called him back to give him the news we were both expecting, and he came home then to be with me. I remember hearing the love, and absolute fear in his voice. I remember him trying to cover that fear up.

So much has happened this past year. Four surgeries. Rat poison shot into my veins (John doesn't like me to call it that, but it is toxic none the less). Lost my hair, my boobs, my dreams (only for a little while!), I thought I was staring death in the face. I knew the fear a mother knows when she doesn't think she will be around to see her babies grow. I learned just how much love and support I have around me. I learned how strong I could be. I learned that those little everyday annoyances are not important at all. I learned my children could handle more than they should ever have had to at such a young age. I re-learned how much my husband loves me---for me.

This time last year, I couldn't think more than a couple of days ahead. Getting to the other side of this seemed SOOOOO far away. Now I am almost there. About 6 more months of Hercpetin, and a few finishing touches on the foobs, and I will be there. If only this darn hair would grow a little faster! I will obviously never forget. But hopefully it will fade at least a little. I will use my experience to help others know they can get through this. I will use my experience to educate others.

I'm going to try to have an awesome day. I will allow myself to reflect, I don't think I can keep myself from doing so. But I will try really hard to have a day that I can remember in place of the Oct 25 in my memory now.

Thanks for listening!!

Wednesday, October 24, 2007

Public Restrooms for Women...

Off the YSC Boards.....

OK, GIRLS, IF YOU DONT LAUGH OUT LOUD WITH THIS ONE, YOU HAVE NO SENSE OF HUMOR!

When you have to visit a public bathroom, you usually find a line of women, so you smile politely and take your place. Once it's your turn, you check for feet under the stall doors. Every stall is occupied. Finally, a door opens and you dash in, nearly knocking down the woman leaving the stall.

You get in to find the door won't latch. It doesn't matter, however, because the wait has been so long you are about to wet your pants! The dispenser for the modern 'seat covers' (invented by someone's Mom, no doubt) is handy, but empty.

You would hang your purse on the door hook, if there was one, but there isn't---so you carefully, but quickly, drape it around your neck because Mom would turn over in her grave if you put it on the FLOOR!

Finally, you yank down your pants, and assume 'The Stance.' In this position, your aging, toneless thigh muscles begin to shake. You'd love to sit down, but you certainly hadn't taken time to wipe the seat or lay toilet paper on it, so you hold 'The Stance.'

To take your mind off your trembling thighs, you reach for what you discover to be the empty toilet paper dispenser. In your mind, you can hear your mother's voice saying, 'Honey, if you had tried to clean the seat, you would have KNOWN there was no toilet paper!' Your thighs shake more.

You remember the tiny tissue that you blew your nose on yesterday---the one that's still in your purse. (Oh, yeah, the purse around your neck...) That will have to do. You crumple it in the puffiest way possible. It's still smaller than the palm of your hand.

Someone pushes your door open because the latch doesn't work. The door hits your purse, which is hanging around your neck in front of your chest, and you and your purse topple backward against the tank of the toilet.

"Occupied!"you scream, as you reach for the door, dropping your precious, tiny, crumpled tissue in a puddle on the floor. Now you lose
your footing altogether, and slide down directly onto the TOILET SEAT.
It is wet, of course. You bolt up, knowing all too well that it's too late. Your bare bottom has made contact with every imaginable germ and life form on the uncovered seat because YOU never laid down toilet paper, not that there was any.

You know that your mother would be utterly appalled if she knew. You're certain that her bare bottom never touched a public toilet seat because, Frankly, dear, you just don't KNOW what kind of diseases you could get.'

By this time, the automatic sensor on the back of the toilet is so confused that it flushes, propelling a stream of water like a fire hose against the inside of the bowl. Of course, that sprays a fine mist of water on your butt, which then runs down your legs and into your shoes.

The flush somehow sucks everything down with such force that you grab onto the empty toilet paper dispenser for fear of being dragged in, too. At this point, you give up. You're soaked by the spewing water and the wet toilet seat.

You're exhausted. You try to wipe with a gum wrapper you find in your pocket and then slink out inconspicuously to the sinks. You can't figure out how to operate the faucets with the automatic sensors, so you wipe your hands with spit and a dry paper towel and walk past the line of women still waiting.

You are no longer able to smile politely to them. A kind soul at the very end of the line points out a piece of toilet paper trailing from your shoe. (Where was that when you NEEDED it?!?) You yank the paper from your shoe, plunk it in the woman's hand and tell her warmly, 'Here, you just might need this.'

As you exit, you spot your hubby, who has long since entered, used, and left the men's restroom. Annoyed, he asks, 'What took you so long, and why is your purse hanging around your neck?'

This is dedicated to women everywhere who deal with a public restroom(rest??? you've GOT to be kidding!!!) It finally explains to the men what really does take us so long. It also answers their other commonly asked questions about why women go to the restroom in pairs. It's so the other gal can hold the door, hang onto your purse and hand you Kleenex under the door!

Newspaper Article...

Here is the link to the article I spoke about. Click here to read it. I will try to watch and make sure the link stays the same. Feel free to leave a comment telling me what you think.

Tuesday, October 23, 2007

Sometimes....

Thinking of the title is a pain!! I have no snappy title today, sorry folks.

I am doing fine. Was still wired Tuesday--finally was able to sleep good Wednesday. That could be because I took the motion sick patch off, or because I took a sleeping pill. Or I guess it could be a little of both.

Tuesday SIL Ann took me to my drs appt. She said everything looked good. I think I may have hurt her feelings when she took the dressings off, asked me what I thought, and I just kind of stood there looking at myself in the mirror. She had called Monday night to check on me, and sounded really pleased with the way things had gone in surgery. Said she thought this looked natural (or as natural as a 40 yr old with perky breasts can look I guess). I really can't explain how I felt about the "girls" or "foobs" when I first saw them. Yeah, I have boobs, but they still don't look like mine. Of course we still have the nipple and areola to do, so that doesn't really help. As time is going on, I do believe I like them. Although they still have to settle, and the swelling needs to go down. She didn't seem to think there was too much swelling, which is good. To get the total Va Va Voom look, I will still need a bra. The side view doesn't look like much, but, the top view looks pretty good. I am a little more sore on the left side for some reason---Jenny says maybe b/c I am a righty and that side isn't as developed. I was sleeping in bed from the first night--that is a nice change. Didn't really want to be doing the whole recliner thing again! I can somewhat sleep on my side already too. Although the last couple of nights I can't seem to lay on the left, and I can't get comfy any other way--go figure!! I am more sore this week than last week too. Probably have been doing a little more than I should. But I feel so good. Seems really silly to not do stuff. I am completely terrified of ripping those internal stitches. So maybe that will keep me in line. I quit taking the vicodin Thursday morning. I didn't want that to cover any feeling if I was doing too much. I did take a couple Sunday as I was pretty sore then. I was getting a headache from it, and it tends to bind me up. Has to be taken with a stool softener. I get this strange sensation on my back-left side--sometimes too. The only way I can think to describe it is it feels like a piece of tape that popped lose all of the sudden. I asked Jenny about it--she thought maybe a nerve twinge? Makes sense to me. I will have to remember to ask the dr about it though.

Wednesday I started driving. Not a lot, just picked the girls up from school. Oh, I dropped them off that day too so Jenna could work the morning store. Thursday I dropped them off again, I wasn't feeling too great that day.I dropped Haley off at gymnastics, luckily John was able to pick her up. Friday I had an interview for the local paper. It being breast cancer month I had emailed the paper saying that if they were going to do a story, I would be available to talk. Pam-the paper's editor--is also Mom's best friend's daughter. She had actually called to try and set up a time for Friday the 12th-when I was running a ton of errands, or Monday the 15th, which I obviously couldn't do. She was busy over the weekend, so we decided on the 19th. I was still worried that I wouldn't know what to say, but when I got there I seemed to have plenty to say! I probably sounded like an insane person, jabbering away! And of course I thought of more to say after I left her, but the poor lady isn't writing a book! I am not sure when this is supposed to be in the paper. If there is a link online I will post it here. She is also going to do a side bar on the Young Survival Coalition..

Saturday we went to the JR Football Superbowl. This is the first time a Braidwood team has made it to the Superbowl. They were also hosting the event, which was even better. They didn't win unfortunately. We stayed for the game after also. By the time we left it was after 9, cold and I had a headache. I think going to this game may be why I was sore on Sunday, but that's okay!! Sunday we were up at John's Mom and Dad's. By the time we left I was kind of wore out. Definitely sore. I have to wear a sports bra when I sleep, the rest of the day I can take it off. Well I have been wearing it all day--that gets a little old, but it feels better. Last night I switched to a tank with built in bra--I think I will use that for the day and stick with the bra for night.

Last night we took the girls to Spirit Halloween for costumes. Actually, Jenna wants to be a dead hillbilly, so I will have to hit the resale shops for her. Haley found something surprisingly quick. She is going to be a goth chick. I still have to get my costume, I am thinking I am going to be Goth Ann. Think- Raggedy Ann, with black hair and black and white clothes. After a quick trip to Target we went to Apple Bee's for dinner. It was delicious! Again though--sore by the time we get home.

I did the free trial on the Netflix--so I could watch movies while I recuperate. It's pretty nice deal actually!! I have watched~
Vacancy--good movie, nice and creepy scary--not gory.
Disturbia--pretty good also--again, not gory
Wild Hogs--This was cute.
1408--the unrated directors cut version. This was good. I am curious to reread the story now and see how it is different.
300--Really, really thought I was going to like this one. Couldn't get into it at all. I even turned it off before it was done, I can't even tell you the last time I've done that!

I now have Alpha Dog--One I got for John and bumped up on my list b/c he was laid off. And Omen IV. I didn't realize there was a 4. I want to see 3, they seem to play 1 and 2 on tv all the time. With Netflix they don't know when 3 will be available.

John and I were in the attic today. We found the box that had stuff from when the girls were born. My journal to them, extra pics from the hospital--which I gave them some, and the newspaper article from when they were born. They enjoyed that. Haley wants to take it to school tomorrow.

Oh--hair update. It is growing, although not fast enough. It seems to be thick. I combed it all down last night to let it dry that way. I told John if I had blond hair I would look like Mia Farrow in Rosemary's Baby. After she chops it all off. Actually, I just looked for a pic to post here, and my hair isn't even that long yet. Darn! Someone posted this website today with short haircuts. I will have to keep checking it as my hair grows out.

Well, enough for now. I guess I should write more often so I don't have to write so much at a time. You think?? All I can say is thank goodness blogger now auto saves every couple of minutes! While I was writing about the movies, I lost everything!! I could have never remembered what was written. I actually lost it twice--the second time when writing about Mia Farrow. That time I got the IE error. Oh well, at least it was all still here!